Barbara Holder
Help Barbara Get Home
My Trial
I sat in the Galveston County jail from June 1997 until May 1999. The only time I was given any information concerning my children was when the sheriff wanted to speak with me. My sister and her husband came to see me twice, but stopped all contact because I was no longer in a position to help them, I was now the one in need. I was all alone.
During my county jail time, I attempted suicide
on three separate occasions. The administrations solution was
to give me medication. I can't remember everything they
were giving me. I do know I was taking a combination of
Cynaquan, Haldol, Lithium, and Zoloft.
My lawyers did visit on a couple of
occasions. Never did we talk about who the prosecution
witnesses would be or what the defense strategy would be. I
was in such a state of shock and drug haze, that I never questioned
them. I let them handle everything. They kept telling
me not to worry, so I didn't.
At one point, during jury selection, the
prospective jurors were passing around a newspaper with my
story in it. The judge had the paper confiscated, and
cautioned the jury pool not to bring anything they had read to the
trial. During the trial, one juror became ill, and had to be
excused from serving. Since no alternates had been chosen,
the trial proceeded with 11 jurors.
Each morning before court, my lawyers would drop
off clothes, pantyhose, and shoes for me to wear to court. I
would shuffle downstairs and attempt to dress myself. The
deputy would have to help
me with the buttons and zippers because I couldn't do them
myself. The other prisoners in the holding tank helped me put
the pantyhose on each morning. At the courthouse, there would
be make-up, which I would attempt to apply, but with my hands
shaking, it was impossible. The baliff told the judge at one
point about my condition. The answer was to give me a portion
of my medication before I left the jail each morning. All
this accomplished was to keep me more sedated during the
trial. At the end of my stay, I couldn't even feed
myself. Getting food on a spoon and getting the spoon to my
mouth was impossible. I couldn't dress or feed myself;
helping my lawyers with my defense was not happening.
The core of the prosecutions case was the
testimony of Johnny Lopez, who had confessed to killing
Curtis. Johnny's testimony was that Mark Dixon had told him I
would pay him $30,000 to kill a guy named Curtis. When my
lawyers questioned Johnny, he testified that he had not
actually
told this version of events when first arrested. This
statement was the seventh version he had given. Finally, the
sheriff had the confession they had been looking for.
Although Johnny testified to what
Mark had told him, Mark was never called to the stand to
testify. At no time did Johnny say I had given him any money,
or even that I said I would give him money. Only what Mark
had told him. Johnny bargained for 40 years.
Another key testimony for the prosecution was
from Sandy Croog, "my friend". I knew Sandy because her first
husband had been a mechanic at the garage owned by Christopher's
best friend's father. Sandy testified that during a Little
League game, I had made the statement that the only thing wrong
with Curtis was that he breathed. The prosecution showed this
as proof that I wanted Curtis dead. What was never
addressed, was when this statement was supposedly made. If I
did in fact say this, I had done it at least 5 years in the
past. Christopher had not played Little League since he was
nine. We hadn't been to a
Little League game in 5 years. It was remarkable that Sandy
could remember a comment I had made that far in the past. I
lost count of how many times the DA repeated the phrase, "The only
thing wrong with him is he breathes."
The prosecution stated I had Curtis killed for
the money. The only problem with this theory was there wasn't
any money. We had recently filed bankruptcy. Curtis had
the minimal life insurance through his
employer and a retirement fund. There was no huge monetary
benefit in the event of his death.
The prosecution brought in portions of the seats
from our minivan saying tests showed there were traces of blood on
the seats. The DNA expert testified the stains could have
been made from any body fluid, and they couldn't tell how old the
stains were. This is from the family vehicle, which had been
used for numerous vacations, and almost weekly camping and fishing
trips. Who knew what kind of stains had been left?
The DNA experts also testified that there was a
cigarette butt left in an ashtray at the scene that did not match
any person involved in the case. This was never followed up
by either prosecution or defense.
When the defense was called to present their
case, there was none. The defense didn't call a single
person. The trial was over as soon as the prosecution
rested.
I don't think anyone was surprised when the
guilty verdict was announced. I had no reaction. By
this time, I was in such a state of shock, nothing could reach
me. It's difficult to describe how removed
from the whole trial I felt. It seemed I was watching all of
this happen to someone else.
In a matter of days, I was transferred from county jail to prison. I had begun to serve my life sentence.
Copyright 2012. Barbara Holder. All Rights Reserved.